Quotes about humor

"Then there's another way. Kill by laughter. Laughter is an instrument of human joy. Learn to use it as a weapon of destruction. Turn it into a sneer. It's simple. Tell them to laugh at everything. Tell them that a sense of humor is an unlimited virtue. Don't let anything remain sacred in a man’s soul—and his soul won't be sacred to him. Kill reverence and you've killed the hero in man. One doesn't reverence with a giggle."

"When you see a man casting pearls without getting even a pork chop in return—it is not against the swine that you feel indignation. It is against the man who valued his pearls so little that he was willing to fling them into the muck and let them become the occasion for a whole concert of grunting, transcribed by the court stenographer."

"We are all brothers under the skin, and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."

"You're much worse than a bitch. You're a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable."

The magic of sex is it's acquisition without the burden of possessions. No matter how many women you take home, there's never a storage problem.

Every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married

The only thing that separates us from the animals...is we have pornography.

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

Loving someone is like having a mental illness that’s not covered by health insurance.

Parenthood being the opiate of the masses.

Just keep asking yourself: 'What would Jesus NOT do?'

In Hollywood in the fifties, a happy ending always involved marriage—the creation of an environment in which lovers could have sex legally.