Quotes about humor

"I used to tell everyone I meant to be an artist..... I don't do that any more."

"Nobody ever listened to me until they didn't know who I was."

"After sticking up the picture I took five minutes to watch what happened next. A sea of people walked up, stared and left looking confused and slightly cheated. I felt like a true modern artist."

"Why not go live on the beach?"

"These things are a way of keeping score. I'm sure you have your own way of keeping score."

I nodded. "I compare the numbers of answers I get to the number of questions I ask."

"And how are you doing with that?"

"Lifetime average is close to a hundred per cent."

In the rotation of crops there was a recognized season for wild oats; but they were not sown more than once.

The worst of doing one's duty was that it apparently unfitted one for doing anything else.

An unalterable and unquestioned law of the musical world required that the German text of French operas sung by Swedish artists should be translated into Italian for the clearer understanding of English-speaking audiences.

People often ask, "What is the single most important environmental/population problem facing the world today?" A flip answer would be, "The single most important problem is our misguided focus on identifying the single most important problem!"

Some things are of that nature as to make

One's fancy chuckle, while his heart doth ache.

Then he grinned. “But it is said that hunger teaches many things. My friend, a wealth of wisdom awaits us on this journey.”

“Are you wise, Unbeliever?”

“Who knows? If I am—wisdom is overrated.”

“We will soon know.”

“Yes, indeed,” Covenant muttered. “Only I hate surprises. You never know when one of them is going to ruin your life.”