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Don't you know that nothin' gives a man greater remorse than havin' his face punched, his toes trod on, and eggs rubbed in his hair?

Take my advice, don't carry bags,

For bags are just as bad as swags;

They're never made to measure.

To see the world, your simple trick

Is but to take a walking-stick—

Assume an air of pleasure,

And tell the people near and far

You stroll about because you are

A Gentleman of Leisure.

Let your conduct be noble, and never sing the National Anthem to people wearing bell-toppers.

I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: "Wouldn't you like to have that?"

Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Bill, of course, treated this conduct with silent contempt. It was his rule through life, he said, never to fight people with beaks.

Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something. How about the time you gave a large contribution to the Red Cross? Yes, that is no exception to the rule. You gave the Red Cross the donation because you wanted to lend a helping hand; you wanted to do a beautiful, unselfish, divine act.

Oh, rolling round the ocean,

From a far and foreign land,

May suit the common notion

That a sailor's life is grand.But as for me, I'd sooner be

A roaring here at home

About the rolling, roaring life

Of them that sails the foam.For the homeward-bounder's chorus,

Which he roars across the foam,

Is all about chucking a sailor's life,

And settling down at home.Home, home, home,

That's the song of them that roam,

The song of the roaring, rolling sea

Is all about rolling home.

Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? "I will speak ill of no man," he said, "...and speak all the good I know of everybody." Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. "A great man shows his greatness," says Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men."

You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you.

Here is one of the best bits of advice every given about the fine art of human relationships. "If there is any one secret of success," says Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own."

And not until then did she remember how fatal it is said to be to accept a gift from a demon. Buy, or earn it, but never accept the gift.