The Magic Pudding

Don't you know that nothin' gives a man greater remorse than havin' his face punched, his toes trod on, and eggs rubbed in his hair?

Take my advice, don't carry bags,

For bags are just as bad as swags;

They're never made to measure.

To see the world, your simple trick

Is but to take a walking-stick—

Assume an air of pleasure,

And tell the people near and far

You stroll about because you are

A Gentleman of Leisure.

Let your conduct be noble, and never sing the National Anthem to people wearing bell-toppers.

Bill, of course, treated this conduct with silent contempt. It was his rule through life, he said, never to fight people with beaks.

Oh, rolling round the ocean,

From a far and foreign land,

May suit the common notion

That a sailor's life is grand.But as for me, I'd sooner be

A roaring here at home

About the rolling, roaring life

Of them that sails the foam.For the homeward-bounder's chorus,

Which he roars across the foam,

Is all about chucking a sailor's life,

And settling down at home.Home, home, home,

That's the song of them that roam,

The song of the roaring, rolling sea

Is all about rolling home.