From Bradford Yorkshire to Bristol Temple Meads you don't have to change your underwear but you have to… — John Hegley

My grandmother used to say

before you moan about the muck on someone else's glasses

make sure you're not on about the muck on your own

her glasses were filthy

This winter

I hope you get a splinter

if you make a toboggan

and it is a mahog'un

In the beginning was the dog

the real name of Jehovah is Rover

Adam's rib is buried in the garden