My grandmother used to say before you moan about the muck on someone else's glasses make sure you're not on… — John Hegley

From Bradford Yorkshire to Bristol Temple Meads

you don't have to change your underwear

but you have to change at Leeds

This winter

I hope you get a splinter

if you make a toboggan

and it is a mahog'un

In the beginning was the dog

the real name of Jehovah is Rover

Adam's rib is buried in the garden