Quotes about humor

I like France, where everybody thinks he’s Napoleon — down here everybody thinks he’s Christ.

I came no nearer sleep than I came to the moon.

Vampires pretending to be humans pretending to be vampires ... How avant-garde!

Paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much.

Charlie really has this, like, obsessive death wish! Yes! he, he wants to be caught, processed, put in a can, not just any can, you dig, it has to be StarKist! suicidal brand loyalty, man, deep parable of consumer capitalism, they won't be happy with anything less than drift-netting us all, chopping us up and stacking us on the shelves of Supermarket Amerika, and subconsciously the horrible thing is, is we want them to do it...

It was impossible to get a decent meal, or even snack, anywhere, burned flapjacks and vulcanized steaks being as appetizing as things got. It also quickly became evident — horribly evident — that no one in the city knew how to make coffee, as if there were some sort of stultified consensus, or even city ordinance, about never waking up.

It is usually not wise to discuss matters of costume with people like this, — politics or religion being far safer topicks.

"If the U.S. was a person," he later became fond of saying, "and it sat down, Columbus, Ohio would instantly be plunged into darkness"

The illustrations were woodcuts, executed with that crude haste to see the finished product that marks the amateur. True pornography is given us by vastly patient professionals.

“The rain is as contrary as I ever was,” she said. “It came because it knew I did not want it.”

"Run away with me," said Roseman when the coffee came.

"Where?" she asked. That shut him up.

I will say this for you, Chris. I never knew anyone who was better at finding work for other people.