Quotes
The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.
FAIRYMOUNT (vb. n.) Polite word for buggery.
LAXOBIGGING (ptcpl.vb.) Struggling to extrude an extremely large turd.
SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom
ABOYNE (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly badly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him.
CLIXBY (adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
Walk! Not bloody likely. I am going in a taxi.
I wouldn't have ate it, only I'm too lady-like to take it out of my mouth.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
p. 23
Oh, you are a very poor soldier — a chocolate cream soldier!
