Quotes about humor

Don’t quibble with the king over pears, let him eat the ripe ones and give you the green ones.

In order to protect the physical hygiene and mental health of the living, we usually bury the dead.

The distribution of tasks among the various employees follows a simple rule, which is that the duty of the members of each category is to do as much work as they possibly can, so that only a small part of that work need be passed to the category above. This means that the clerks are obliged to work without cease from morning to night, whereas the senior clerks do so only now and then, the deputies very rarely, and the Registrar almost never.

"Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can’t even finish my second apple pie."

"We don’t need any more heroes; we just need someone to take out the recycling."

"We can't do anything to change the world until capitalism crumbles. In the meantime we should all go shopping to console ourselves."

"People who get up early in the morning cause war, death and famine."

"Some people become cops because they want to make the world a better place, some people become vandals because they want to make the world a better looking place."

"People say graffiti is ugly, irresponsible and childish. But that's only if it's done properly."

"People who should be shot: Fascist thugs, religious fundamentalists, people who write lists telling you who should be shot. "

"You can win the rat race but you're still a rat."

"Remember crime against property is not real crime. People look at an oil painting and admire the use of brushstrokes to convey meaning. People look at a graffiti painting and admire the use of a drainpipe to gain access."