Quotes about humor

“Ashes, how did you do it?”

“I’d like to say it was all my own talent, but cats are naturally modest.”

It’s a bland box of a building built in the 1970s; it was considered to be so lacking in architectural merit that there was talk of listing it so that it could be preserved for posterity as an awful warning.

Nobody had a clue what had happened, so the pundits were out in force, explaining how the riot was caused by whatever sociopolitical factor their latest book was pushing. It was certainly a searing indictment of some aspect of modern society—if only we knew what.

Magic, you’ll find, is nine parts dull to one part excitement, and the exciting bits usually hurt like the blazes.

“You’re not very loyal,” Isaac said as Alice took his hand.

“Loyalty,” Ashes sniffed, “is for dogs. Cats have better sense.”

“Patience, my friend.”

“I’m not your friend. And I’m not patient.”

“There’s this thing called dignity that some cats have been known to have. You might want to look into it.”

“A cat is always dignified, no matter what position he finds himself in,” Ashes said. “A half-cat even more so.”

I must say, you are the least unintelligent human I have ever met.

“He saved me, I saved him,” Alice said. “The usual, really. What else are friends for?”

“If you ask me,” the cat said, “friends ought to keep you out of situations where you need saving.”

He was, of course, cheating her, that was what lawyers were for.

“But didn’t that hurt?”

Dex shrugged. “Pain is an illusion. The body is only a clay vessel holding the immortal essence of the soul, so it is a mistake to attach any import to the difficulties it may encounter. In fact, the whole episode reinforced my fundamental understanding of—“ She caught Alice’s expression. “Yes. It hurt quite a lot.”

“Well?” the cat said. “Are we going to walk all the way there?”

“You’re going to get fat if you keep being so lazy.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. For cats, being fat that just means that you’re winning.”