Quotes about humor

2757 quotes · 487 authors

Quotes

  1. After the cousins came the accountants, who were more open in their appraisals and didn’t bother with Alice at all, and after the accountants, like a Biblical plague building up to a big finish, came the lawyers.

    p. 16

  2. “Are you a doctor?”

    “Better. I’m a librarian.”

    p. 35

  3. Human ignorance has never needed help.

    p. 187

  4. The nice thing about people like Jellybean Man was that I knew exactly where I stood. There was no subtlety, no subterfuge or second-guessing. It was a refreshing change from talking to politicians.

    p. 111

  5. In short, Fahrenheit 451 was never meant to be an instruction manual.

    p. 355

  6. The hotel offered a complimentary continental breakfast. My first thought upon seeing it was rather less than complimentary.

    p. 225

  7. “This is the worst excess of conjecture and wishful thinking,” snapped Jackson. “We don’t know if Isaac is capable of any of this.”

    “He believes he is,” said Bi Wei.

    “I once met a woman who believed she was abducted by aliens who looked like the Teletubbies,” Jackson shot back. “That doesn’t make it true.”

    p. 307

  8. “Hey, I’m just playing devil’s advocate.”

    “Since when did the devil need your help?”

    p. 56

  9. Young Isaac had dreamed of fame.

    Young Isaac was an idiot.

    p. 8

  10. Copper River was a small, tightly knit town. If gossip was a competitive sport, we’d have been sending teams to the Olympics and bringing back gold.

    p. 286

  11. I leaned closer and whispered, “a librarian’s gotta do what a librarian’s gotta do.”

    p. 6

  12. “What happened?”

    “Nothing serious, as long as I’m careful.”

    “You’re doomed,” she said.

    p. 107