What Happened to Goodbye

You asked me to go out with you. I know you probably changed your mind. But you should know, the answer was yes. It's always been yes when it comes to you."

The answer . . . he said slowly.

I felt tears prick my eyes as I looked down at the model again, looking at that girl and boy on the curb. Forever in that place, together.

Mclean? he asked. "Is that you?

I dialed the number slowly, wanting to get it right. Two rings, and he picked up.

Your past is always your past. Even if you forget it, it remembers you.

When you can't save yourself or your heart, it helps to be able to save face.”

Two a.m.' He swallowed, then said, "You know. The person you can call at two a.m. and, no matter what, you can count on them. Even if they're asleep or it's cold or you need to be bailed out of jail...they'll come for you. It's like, the highest level of friendship.”

Yeah, I said, swallowing and looking out my open door, at the ocean. The answer's yes.

Home wasn't a set house, or a single town on a map. It was wherever the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place, but a moment, and then another, building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.”

He was very quiet for a moment. Where are you?

I started crying again, my voice ragged. He told me to calm down. He told me it was going to be all right. And then, he told he'd be there soon.”

It was amazing how you could get so far from where you'd planned, and yet find it was exactly were you needed to be.

Yes, I said after his hello.

Despite my dad's assurances I was strangely nervous my stomach tight ever since we'd hung up. Maybe Deb had picked up on this and it was why she'd pretty much talked nonstop since I'd approached her and asked for a ride. I'd barely had time to explain the situation before she had launched into a dozen stories to illustrate the point that Things Happened But People Were Okay in the End.

Like a blinking cursor on an empty page, it was just the first thing. The beginning of the beginning. But at least it was done.

It was kind of soothing, these sounds of lives being lived all around me, for better or for worse. And there I was, in the middle of them all, newly reborn and still waiting for mine to begin.

I mean, it's not surprising, really. Once you love something, you always love it in some way. You have to. It's, like, part of you for good.