P.J. O'Rourke
Quotes
To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.
Holidays in HellItaly is not technically part of the Third World, but no one has told the Italians.
Holidays in HellI like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
Holidays in HellThe most extraordinary change in Moscow was Arbat Street, the USSR's first pedestrian mall. Of course, there's something a little sad about a pedestrian mall in a nation where few people own cars— the whole damn country's a pedestrian mall.
Holidays in HellIt had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.
Holidays in HellThe Italians have had two thousand years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place.
Holidays in HellThe America's Cup is like driving your Lamborghini to the Grand Prix track to watch the charter buses race.
Holidays in HellWhat would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road.
Holidays in HellIf Christ came back tomorrow, He'd have to change planes in Frankfurt. Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.
Holidays in HellThe French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know.
Holidays in HellMoscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with.
Holidays in HellOne nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.
Holidays in Hell
