P.G. Wodehouse

Quotes

1. She’s all for not letting the sun go down without having started something calculated to stagger humanity.

2. 

   Whenever there is a job to be taken on of a kind calculated to make Humanity shudder, the cry goes up, ‘Let Wooster do it.’

3. 

   ‘When I say “mind,”’ said the blood relation, ‘I refer to the quarter-teaspoonful of brain which you might possibly find in her head if you sank an artesian well.’

4. 

   ...I mean to say, when a girl, offered a good man’s heart, laughs like a bursting paper bag and tells him not to be a silly ass, the good man is entitled, I think, to assume that the whole thing is off.

5. 

   I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.

6. 

   ‘Are you sure?’ I said that sure was just what I wasn’t anything but.

7. 

   He had that self-reproachful feeling of having been remiss which comes to Generals who wake up one morning to discover that they have carelessly allowed themselves to be outflanked.

8. 

   Oofy, thinking of the tenner he had given Freddie, writhed like an electric fan.

9. 

   Nannie Bruce, a tall, gangling light-heavyweight with a suggestion in her appearance of a private in the Grenadiers dressed up to play the title role in Charley’s Aunt, was one of those doggedly faithful retainers who adhere to almost all old families like barnacles to the hulls of ships...She was as much a fixture as the stone lions or the funny smell in the attic.

10. 

    It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.

11. 

    Attila the Hun might have broken off his engagement to her, but nobody except Attila the Hun, and he only on one of his best mornings.

12. 

    Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black moustache.