Nedra Glover Tawwab

healthy people appreciate honesty and don’t abandon us if we say no.

Boundaries will set you free. (Introduction)

The most important question you need to answer is What do you want for your life? Bear in mind that what you want might not currently exist in your family.

Tell people what you need.

The ability to say no to yourself is a gift. If you can resist your urges, change your habits, and say yes to only what you deem truly meaningful, you’ll be practicing healthy self-boundaries. It’s your responsibility to care for yourself without excuses.

It’s true that setting boundaries isn’t easy. Paralyzing fear about how someone might respond can easily hold us back. You might play out awkward interactions in your mind and prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome. But trust me: short-term discomfort for a long-term healthy relationship is worth it every time!

The hardest thing about implementing boundaries is accepting that some people won’t like, understand, or agree with yours. Once you grow beyond pleasing others, setting your standards becomes easier. Not being liked by everyone is a small consequence when you consider the overall reward of healthier relationships.

We can't stop others from neglecting us, but we can stop ignoring ourselves.

we victimize ourselves further when we let our fear prevent us from doing what we need to do.

Burnout is a response to unhealthy boundaries.

Fear is not rooted in fact. Fear is rooted in negative thoughts and the story lines in our heads.

How they treat you is about who they are, not who you are.