The Rape of the Lock

The hungry judges soon the sentence sign,

And wretches hang that jurymen may dine.

What dire offence from amorous causes springs,

What mighty contests rise from trivial things!

Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll;

Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.

Coffee, which makes the politician wise,

And see through all things with his half-shut eyes.

But when mischief mortals bend their will,

How soon they find fit instruments of ill!

Whether the nymph shall break Diana's law,

Or some frail China jar receive a flaw,

Or stain her honour, or her new brocade,

Forget her prayers, or miss a masquerade.

They shift the moving toyshop of their heart.

Here thou, great Anna! whom three realms obey,

Dost sometimes counsel take — and sometimes tea.

On her white breast a sparkling cross she wore

Which Jews might kiss, and infidels adore.

"Boast not my fall (he cried), insulting foe!

Thou by some other shalt be laid as low;

Nor think to die dejects my lofty mind;

All that I dread is leaving you behind!

Rather than so, ah let me still survive,

And burn in Cupid's flames — but burn alive."

Now lap-dogs give themselves the rousing shake,

And sleepless lovers, just at twelve, awake.

This casket India's glowing gems unlocks

And all Arabia breathes from yonder box.

Bright as the sun, her eyes the gazers strike,

And, like the sun, they shine on all alike.

Not louder shrieks to pitying heav'n are cast,

When husbands, or when lapdogs, breathe their last.

Fair tresses man's imperial race ensnare,

And beauty draws us with a single hair.

Let spades be trumps! she said, and trumps they were.

If to her share some female errors fall,

Look on her face, and you'll forget 'em all.

At every word a reputation dies.

The meeting points the sacred hair dissever

From the fair head, forever, and forever!

Then flashed the living lightning from her eyes,

And screams of horror rend th' affrighted skies.

Sir Plume, of amber snuff-box justly vain,

And the nice conduct of a clouded cane.

Belinda smiled, and all the world was gay.