Quotes
I acquiesced in this on the grounds that the most anyone can expect from a holiday is a change of agony.
When stripped, I looked less like "Il David" than a plucked chicken that died of myxomatosis.
Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbours.
Another friend began to say, "Well, Quentin has a problem of adjusting himself to society and he..." This sentence was never finished. The ballet teacher expostulated, "I don't agree. Quentin does exactly as he pleases. The rest of us have to adapt ourselves to him."
I never understood music. It seemed to me to be the maximum amount of noise conveying the minimum amount of information.
There was no need to do any housework at all. After four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
To minimize my guilt at going to the pictures — to call this wanton pursuit of an effete pleasure by another name — I needed movie companions as drunkards need drinking partners. If I entered a cinema alone, God might plunge his arm through the roof of the auditorium booming in a stereophonic voice, "And you, Crisp, what are you doing here?" I would never have dared reply, "I’m just enjoying myself, Lord." I remembered too well what happened to Mr and Mrs Adam. A commissionaire with a flaming sword came and asked them to leave.
God, from whose territory I had withdrawn my ambassadors at the age of fourteen. It had become obvious that he was never going to do a thing I said.
As someone remarked, when told the new atomic bombs would explode without a bang, "they can’t leave anything alone."
The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadn’t made every line funny. It’s so depressing."
I found that I had become so spinsterish that I was made neurotic not only by my life of domesticity but by the slightest derangement of my room. I would burst into a fit of weeping if the kettle was not facing due east.
Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.
