Quotes about humor

"Hmm. Granpone the White. He's going to be Granpone the Grey if he doesn't take better care of his laundry. Aye tell you, girl, a white magician is just a black magician with a good housekeeper."

Granny had nothing against fortune-telling provided it was done badly by people with no talent for it.

A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course.

It had been a very long night, and the morning didn't seem to be an improvement.

It wasn't a large village, and wouldn't have shown up on a map of the mountains. It barely showed up on a map of the village.

I'm surely going to regret this, she told herself, displaying considerable foresight.

'Well ... welcome. My house is your house', his brow suddenly furrowed and he looked worried, 'although only in a metaphorical sense, you understand, because I would not, much as I always admired your straightforward approach, and indeed your forthright stance, actually give you my house, it being the only house I have, and therefore the term is being extended in an, as it were, gratuitous fashion —'

The sign outside the shop said Apothecary, which meant that the shop was owned by a sort of early chemist, who would give you herbs and things until you got better or at least stopped getting any worse.

'I can't have your subjects throwing my family over the balcony, that would never do.'

'Good,' said Snibril.

'I'll do it myself.'

'Waiting is the worst part,' said Pismire.

'No it isn't,' said Owlglass, who wasn't even being trusted to hold a sword. 'I expect that having long sharp swords stuck in you is the worst part.'

'Stop that!' he shouted. 'You're soldiers! You're not supposed to fight!'

I received other options but nothing ever happened and I developed what I call Asimov’s First Law of Hollywood, which goes as follows:

“Whatever happens, nothing happens!”