Quotes about humor

2757 quotes · 487 authors

Quotes

  1. I never saw any of them again — except the cops. No way has yet been invented to say goodbye to them.

  2. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window.

  3. “Who is this Hemingway person at all?”

    “A guy that keeps saying the same thing over and over until you begin to believe it must be good.”

    “That must take a hell of a long time,” the big man said.

  4. I believe most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.

  5. It is characteristic of all deep human problems that they are not to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment.

  6. A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible. There are no prima donnas in engineering.

  7. Old men only lie in wait for people to ask them to talk. Then they rattle on like a rusty elevator wheezing up a shaft.

    p. 81

  8. Anna said, “Must they have a reason?”

    “No, not if they’re insane, no,” said Juliet. “In that case no reasons are necessary.”

  9. I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

  10. I’m being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it’s not polite.

  11. All political power comes from the barrel of either guns, pussy, or opium pipes, and people seem to like it that way.

  12. More murders are committed at ninety-two degrees Fahrenheit than any other temperature. Over one hundred, it’s too hot to move. Under ninety, cool enough to survive. But right at ninety-two degrees lies the apex of irritability, everything is itches and hair and sweat and cooked pork. The brain becomes a rat rushing around a red-hot maze. The least thing, a word, a look, a sound, the drop of a hair and—irritable murder.