Quotes about humor

I counted to ten slowly, using binary notation.

"My mother said violence never solves anything." "So?" Mr. Dubois looked at her bleakly. "I'm sure the city fathers of Carthage would be glad to know that."

Aside from a cold appreciation of my own genius I felt that I was a modest man.

I was too busy to oblige them by dying just now.

The sort of guardian you can hire is worth about as much as the sort of wife you can buy.

History is never surprising—after it happens.

A businessman who reads Business Week is lost to fame. One who reads Proust is marked for greatness.

Very important functions can be performed very wastefully and often are.

There is nothing in this world so permanent as a temporary emergency.

It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled seas of thought.

Don’t pay any attention to what she says. Half of it’s always wrong and she doesn’t mean the rest.

Of all the mysteries of the stock exchange there is none so impenetrable as why there should be a buyer for everyone who seeks to sell.