Quotes about humor

Ah, dear. How fine the line is between acceptably defiant bravado and hopelessly delusional boasting.

“Aah...Yes, and how does madam wish to pay?”

She slapped her credit card on the counter. “Eventually.”

There now; cynical, paranoid and pessimistic. I think that completes the set, doesn’t it?

I beg to differ, as those who are right have always begged to differ from those who are wrong but refuse to admit it.

Roundly insulting one’s superiors behind their backs was one of the perks of being inferior, Choubris held.

“Well, it all sounds most unpleasant,” Droffo said. He shook his head. “You hear all sorts of ridiculous stories; the workers are full of them. Too much drink, too little learning.”

“No, more than that, sir,” Neguste told him. “These are facts.”

“I think I might dispute that,” Droffo said.

“All the same, sir, facts is facts. That itself’s a fact.”

“You serious?”

“I’m always serious, never more so than when I’m being flippant.”

Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confound, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and wilfully misunderstand with what often appears to be a positively gleeful relish and are generally perfectly capable of contriving to give one an utterly unambiguous impression of their future course of action while in fact intending to do exactly the opposite, but they never lie. Perish the thought.

“Oh. I didn’t realise.”

“Then you’re simply ignorant rather than malevolent. Congratulations.”

“But even if all the other stuff seems a bit esoteric, just think of all those other avatars at all those other gatherings, concerts, dances, ceremonies, parties and meals; think of all that talk, all those ideas, all that sparkle and wit!”

“Think of all that bullshit, the nonsense and non-sequiturs, the self-aggrandisement and self-deception, the boring stupid nonsense, the pathetic attempts to impress or ingratiate, the slow-wittedness, the incomprehension and the incomprehensible, the gland-addled meanderings and general suffocating dullness.”

I am told he is something of a scholar, which is no bad thing in a king, providing it is not taken to excess.

You can draw the blinds in a brothel, but people still know what you’re doing.