Quotes
"What I want to know is what a fellow does when he plays golf. Tell me in as few words as you can just what it's all about."
--"You hit a ball with a stick until it falls into a hole."
It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.
Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love.
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control.
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
I am not well read, but when I do read, I read well. [p. 124]
"Alcohol is like love," he said. "The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off."
