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We can't stop others from neglecting us, but we can stop ignoring ourselves.

we victimize ourselves further when we let our fear prevent us from doing what we need to do.

Burnout is a response to unhealthy boundaries.

Fear is not rooted in fact. Fear is rooted in negative thoughts and the story lines in our heads.

How they treat you is about who they are, not who you are.

You aren't what happened to you.

In contrast to mourning and burial, it is the deep-seated conception that some part of a person does not vanish forever that separates us absolutely from the whole animal kingdom. No gorilla or bald-headed eagle ever had an inkling of their inner self finishing up somewhere once the proud body had collapsed into chemicals. It is only the early human mind that grew to strive against the prospect of the final annihilation of self, a hallmark rebellion that became hard-wired into, and always an essential element of, human nature. It is the incalculable antiquity of the first stirrings towards post-mortem existence that explains the enduring and universal belief in ghosts. Ghosts have waited in the wings from the beginning and have fluttered persistently as part of human cultural, religious or philosophical baggage ever since. Practically speaking, as a result, they are inexpungible.

We simply can’t have a healthy relationship with another person without communicating what’s acceptable and unacceptable to us.

understanding breeds grace.

Discomfort is a part of the process.

It may be hard to just listen without offering advice as people share their problems, but this is often the best support we can give.

Avoidance is a passive-aggressive way of expressing that you are tired of showing up. Hoping the problem will go away feels like the safest option, but avoidance is a fear-based response. Avoiding a discussion of our expectations doesn’t prevent conflict. It prolongs the inevitable task of setting boundaries.