Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport— two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner. — P.J. O'Rourke

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.

Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.

In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailing-boat equipment, the gin and tonic.