In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailing-boat equipment, the gin and… — P.J. O'Rourke

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.

Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.

The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule.