I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me. — P.G. Wodehouse

I’d always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn’t even put her in the oven.

‘Suppose your Aunt Dahlia read in the paper one morning that you were going to be shot at sunrise.’

‘I couldn’t be, I’m never up so early.’

She’s all for not letting the sun go down without having started something calculated to stagger humanity.