Nigel Cumberland

Try to be likeable but stay true to your self. There will be times when you have to do or say something at the expense of being popular. If you’ve built up enough goodwill, you’ll get away with it. People understand that difficult decisions have to be made and, if you’ve paid enough into your ‘likeability deposit’, they will hate the decision but not the person making it.

Successful people are the ones who say ‘yes’ when others say ‘no’. What would you say if you were offered a job promotion overseas? Would you go for it? What would you say if your partner suggested a new holiday destination, say, Greenland. Would you give it a try?

Success requires a focused attention of your time and energy. This is true no matter what you want to achieve – to change the world or simply change apartments. All success stories come down to one person having a focused aim – so focused at times it can look like an obsession.

You do not need to be a millionaire to feel successful or be successful. Financial wealth is only one of many possible indicators of success. However, to achieve your dreams and life goals you’re going to need money. And making it requires financial planning and goalsetting. I do not know of any successful person who has been able to simply ignore their finances.

The new disease of our age is being OK doing everything at exactly the same time.

Could you spend a week or even a day without reading your emails, using social media or going online? Someone recently joked with me that having Internet access is more important than having food or water.

But how do you come ‘offline’ when so much of our daily lives is moving ‘online’? Every month new sites and online services are launched. If you need to check anything – about a new school for your children, medical treatment, tourist destination or recipe – you go online. Bill Gates put it so well when he called the Internet the ‘town square for the global village of tomorrow’.

True empathy is not about waiting to understand another person; it is about proactively seeking to do so. It takes effort to give another person your full time and attention; to ask others how they are feeling and if they coping well with things. And don’t overlook those closest to you. Never take anyone for granted. Avoid being too preoccupied to sit down and talk with your children, partners and colleagues.

Knowing when you don’t know the answer and being honest about it is one of the greatest skills you can have. If you aim to be perfect, you’ll only end up disappointed. When you admit your blind spots, people will flock to support you.

You might look at someone successful and think they got lucky – a case of being in the right place at the right time perhaps? The truth is, every piece of good fortune is the result of hours, or even years, of hard work and preparation.

Saying ‘I don’t know’ takes guts but it’s an immensely positive reaction and a clear sign that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Be careful that your memory is not biased – recalling the negatives and forgetting the positives of past events. It is easy to think that you were hurt or upset in the past when in truth you might have only partially understood or remembered what actually occurred.