Karl Pilkington

Quotes

1. My brain's just full of passwords

2. 

   I'm really happy, I just don't choose to show it.

3. 

   If that was on my road the council would be like "Get that down, its a deathtrap!"

4. 

   People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.

5. 

   I don't cry. Water doesn't leave my head. I've got loads of gob. That's how water leaves me, it's not out of my eyes.

6. 

   Ricky: You are the strangest man alive.

7. 

   If there's one thing we haven't cracked yet in human civilsation, we've never been able to make a good wig. I wouldn't want a wig on me.

8. 

   It was good to know that if everything did go tits up, there's someone else in the world who would put up with me

9. 

   12 hours on a plane, over 5,000 miles. All this way you've got me licking fish.

10. 

    This isn't Amazon where you can go "I'm not happy with the product" and pop it back in the post. Thats it, you've got it

11. 

    Who's the mental one here? Is it me, or everyone else?

12. 

    What do dogs do? Sniff each other's arse. They don't knock about going "Let's try a chatup line."