George Bernard Shaw

Scratch an Englishman and find a Protestant.

It is difficult, if not impossible, for most people to think otherwise than in the fashion of their own period.

What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day.

The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it.

Time enough to think of the future when you haven't any future to think of.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.

"He must be greatly changed. Has he attained the seventh degree of concentration?"

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo-oo!!! I ain't dirty: I washed me face and hands afore I come, I did!

Walk! Not bloody likely. I am going in a taxi.

Attention and activity lead to mistakes as well as to successes; but a life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

I aint such a mug as to put up my children to all I know myself.