Me Talk Pretty One Day

Quotes

1. If cooking is an art, I think we're in our Dada phase.

2. 

   For the first twenty years of my life I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even make it to bed. I'd squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I'm now told that this is not called "going to sleep" but rather "passing out," a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.

3. 

   Friends always say, "How can you eat those? I read in the paper that they're made from hog's lips."

   "And...?"

   "And hearts and eyelids."

4. 

   You can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up a little sometimes, but you can't kill him.

5. 

   After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.

6. 

   Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

7. 

   The word phobic has its place when properly used, but lately it's been declawed by the pompous insistence that most animosity is based upon fear rather than loathing. No credit is given for distinguishing between these two very different emotions.

8. 

   Because I'm both a glutton and a masochist, my standard complaint, "That was so bad", is always followed by "And there was so little of it!"

9. 

   I ain't seen pussy in so long I'd throw stones at it.

10. 

    They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgeable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.

11. 

    In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work things out for the sake of the apartment.

12. 

    on genders of nouns: Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied?

That’s all the quotes.

12 quotes in the collection · come back when we add more