Quotes about humor

"Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."

"At least you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."

"Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting."

"You know, most psychologists agree that hostility is really just sublimated sexual attraction."

"Ah, that might explain why I so often run into people who seem to dislike me."

"If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you'd be twice as funny as you are."

It is all too reminiscent of an old definition of the lecture method of classroom instruction: a process by which the contents of the textbook of the instructor are transferred to the notebook of the student without passing through the heads of either party.

It's all a little like the tale of a roadside merchant who was asked to explain how he could sell rabbit sandwiches so cheap. "Well," he said, "I have to put in some horse meat too. But I mix 'em fifty-fifty: one horse, one rabbit."

When the moon is shining the cripple becomes hungry for a walk.

When the people found that they were none the better for the blessings of the Druids, and none the worse for the curses of the Druids, but, that the sun shone and the rain fell without consulting the Druids at all, they just began to think that the Druids were mere men, and that it signified very little whether they cursed or blessed. After which, the pupils of the Druids fell greatly off in numbers, and the Druids took to other trades.

There were two Popes at this time (as if one were not enough!), and their quarrels involved Europe in a great deal of trouble.

King Richard... was a strong, restless, burly man, with one idea always in his head, and that the very troublesome idea of breaking the heads of other men.

Being on the "Hold" is the technological equivalent of purgatory.

"She says a wedding is one of the most lamentable spectacles on earth."

Junior faculty members used to come up to me and say. "Wow, you got tenure early; what's your secret?" I said, "It's pretty simple, call me any Friday night in my office at 10 o'clock and I'll tell you."