Quotes about humor

The featured entrée with something called Swiss steak. It struck him as a good reason for emigrating from Switzerland.

“It’s never too early for the truth,” Summers said, which proved he’d never been a lawyer.

When you got past fifty, you had to take care of yourself the way you took care of a motorcar. You’d break down if you didn’t, and replacement parts for your carcass were mighty hard to come by.

Hardly anything is more pleasant than talking about why other people are a pack of damn fools.

“How am I?”

“Except for being a damn fool for wanting to do this in the first place, you’re healthy as a horse,” Freedman answered. “But if they disqualified every damn fool in the Navy, they’d have twenty-seven men left, and how would they win the war then?”

“People tell me all kinds of things.” Dowling said. “Some of them are true. Some of them help make the flowers grow.”

Where there’s a will, there’s a lawyer.

During a war, nobody ever showed up on time, except possibly the enemy.

Chester almost said so—almost, but not quite. He and Rita had been married a while now. He’d learned a wise man didn't antagonize his wife over something inherently unprovable, especially when she’d just given him breakfast.

A wise husband didn’t quarrel even when he was right. Quarreling when you knew you were wrong was a recipe for disaster.

Manicheism, n., The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.

“Hoover is one of the best men we’ve ever had for getting things done,” David said, “and one of the worst for figuring out what to do.”