Quotes about humor

With insanity, as with vomit, it is the passerby who receives the inconvenience.

Folks should do their own fuckin', then they wouldn't want to listen to a lot of clatfart about another man's.

The world is supposed to be full of possibilities, but they narrow down to pretty few in most personal experience. There's lots of good fish in the sea ... maybe ... but the vast masses seem to be mackerel or herring, and if you're not mackerel or herring yourself you are likely to find very few good fish in the sea.

The Italians are not passionate: passion has deep reserves. They are easily moved, and often affectionate, but they rarely have any abiding passion of any sort.

Like so many other fairy tales, I thought it was a horror story.

The party was beginning to get noisy—not boisterous, but noisy. It was beginning to acquire that stale air of futility to which, in the end, all parties must fall victim.

“It wouldn’t be the truth,” said Sutton.

“That,” said Trevor, “doesn’t have a thing to do with it.”

“It’s a wonder to me,” said Adams sourly, “that you don’t simply melt down in the white heat of your brilliance.”

The trouble with modern education is you never know how ignorant they are

"It is typical of Oxford," I said, "to start the new year in autumn."

I have lived carefully, sheltered myself from the cold winds, eaten moderately of what was in season, drunk fine claret, slept in my own sheets; I shall live long.

It doesn't matter what people call you unless they call you pigeon pie and eat you up.