Terry Pratchett

A month went by quickly. It didn't want to hang around. (p. 21)

Forever was over. All the sands had fallen. The great race between entropy and energy had been run, and the favorite had been the winner after all. (p. 133)

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind." (p. 153)

Most of history is pretty appalling, when you look hard at it. Or even not very hard. (p. 147)

The Archchancellor's most important job, as the Bursar saw it, was to sign things, preferably, from the Bursar's point of view, without reading them first. (p. 11)

The fact was that, as droves of demon kings had noticed, there was a limit to what you could do to a soul with, e. g., red-hot tweezers, because even fairly evil and corrupt souls were bright enough to realize that since they didn't have the concomitant body and nerve endings attached to them there was no real reason, other than force of habit, why they should suffer excruciating agony. So they didn't. Demons went on doing it anyway, because numb and mindless stupidity is part of what being a demon is all about, but since no one was suffering they didn't enjoy it much either and the whole thing was pointless. Centuries and centuries of pointlessness. (p. 163)

He decided to try the truth again. It was a novel approach and worth experimenting with. (p. 105)

The senior wizard in a world of magic had the same prospects of long-term employment as a pogo stick tester in a minefield. (pp. 10-11)

He also appeared to have changed the course of history, although this is impossible since the only thing you can do to the course of history is facilitate it. (p. 126)

He'd stopped wondering how he'd come to be here, wherever it was. Malign forces. That was probably it. At least nothing particularly dreadful was happening to him right now. Probably it was only a matter of time. (p. 86)

"That's what you call metaphor," said Rincewind.

"I want to be a eunuch, sir," Eric added.