Terry Pratchett

They were, he (the Patrician) had to admit, a pleasant enough young couple. He just wasn't sure why he was sitting next to them, and why they were so important.

"Why is it all Mr. Dibbler's films are set against the background of a world gone mad?" said the dwarf.

"This is really horrible," said Eric, as they walked away. "It gives evil a bad name." (p. 171)

The kings of Hell might have heard of words like "subtlety" and "discretion," but they had also heard that if you had it you should flaunt it and reasoned that, if you didn't have it, you should flaunt it even more, and what they didn't have was good taste. (pp. 186-187)

The speaker was Duke Vassenego, one of the oldest demons. How old, no one knew. But if he didn't actually invent original sin, at least he made one of the first copies. In terms of sheer enterprise and deviousness of mind he might even have passed for human and, in fact, generally took the form of an old, rather sad lawyer with an eagle somewhere in his ancestry. (pp. 173-174)

He'd looked at its ramshackle organisation, such as it was, with the eye of a lifelong salesman. There seemed nowhere in it for him, but this wasn't a problem. There was always room at the top. (p. 53)

"The trouble is," he said, "is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so." (p. 124)

They were discussing strategy when Rincewind arrived. The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking. (p. 102)

Astfgl had achieved in Hell a particularly high brand of boredom which is like the boredom you get which a) is costing you money, and b) is taking place while you should be having a nice time. (p. 165)

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork, greatest of Discworld cities.

He'd looked death in the face many times, or more precisely Death had looked him in the back of his rapidly retreating head many times, and suddenly the prospect of living forever didn't appeal. (p. 149)

"What're quantum mechanics?"