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If our binoculars search for our partner’s best intent, it will usually be found.

After divorce, women’s biggest fear is economic deprivation; men’s biggest fear is emotional deprivation.

A father’s traditional role prepared him to love his family by being away from the love of his family.

We are the offspring of approval-seekers. We want approval so badly that we vacillate between conforming to get it and standing out (being outstanding) to get it.

Tone of voice is more crucial than words.

The hard part (of communication) is hearing criticism so it can be easily given.

Schools currently excel in encouraging children to express opinions, but are deficient in encouraging children to say, for example, “Oh, that’s different from my perspective – tell me more.”

Men tend to put all their emotional eggs in the basket of their wives (or womenfriends), it is difficult for a man to communicate feelings of disappointment to his wife because, if she withdraws, it feels to him like his entire emotional support system has collapsed.

The first instinctive response to any criticism is a defensive response. (The quicker the response, the more defensive.)

No legend told its children of beautiful princesses falling in love with conscientious objectors.

The best way to use these lists to replace anger with love in real life is to nurture each other by doing for your partner what your partner normally does for you.

Women are socialized to take advantage of four informal options for emotional support: husbands; womenfriends; children; and parents. Men are socialized to take advantage of only one of these informal options: their wife or womanfriend.