Bible Stories for Adults

Quotes

1. My own preliminary diagnosis is that I am out of my skull and getting farther from its vicinity every day.

   p. 191

2. 

   “In fact, there’s probably only one thing worse than not being able to understand a person.”

   “What’s that?” asked Nimrod.

   “Being able to understand him completely.”

   p. 76

3. 

   When I destroyed my unwanted children, it was murder. When Yahweh did the same, it was eugenics. Do you approve of the universe, Ham?

   p. 11

4. 

   Being God, I must choose My words carefully. People, I’ve noticed, tend to hang on to My every remark. It gets annoying, this servile and sycophantic streak in Homo sapiens sapiens. There’s a difference, after all, between tasteful adulation and arrant toadyism, but they just don’t get it.

   p. 61

5. 

   Monotheism is just one of the myths by which we live, and Yahweh is just one of the deities who populate these stories.

6. 

   Let us examine the language here. Evidently God is addressing this code to a patriarchy that will in turn disseminate it among the less powerful, namely wives and servants. And how long before these servants are downgraded further still...into slaves, even? Ten whole commandments, and not one word against slavery, not to mention bigotry, misogyny, or war.

   p. 130

7. 

   I’ve gone insane, Michael decided, retrieving a cowhide-bound appointments book from his valise. Only certifiable schizophrenics showed meetings with God on their calendars.

   p. 68

8. 

   “You see, Ebenezer, charity begs a crucial question. How did the bestower attain the position from which he now exercises his largesse?” My dead colleague cleaned his teeth with one of his many appended keys. “Through imagination and merit? Or through inherited privilege and ruthless exploitation?”

   p. 158

9. 

   JOB. And now it’s time...

   FRANNY. To curse God...

   JOB. And live.

   p. 184

10. 

    As with all things political, the issue was power.

    p. 140

11. 

    If You intervene too profusely in Earth’s affairs, I’ve noticed, the inhabitants become chronically distracted, and they forget to worship You.

    p. 67

12. 

    My friends in the nouveau paganism camp accuse me of quaintness: Bible thumpers are straw men, so why bother?...My answer is that straw men, once set aflame with zeal, can be quite dangerous, and that the gap between New Age irrationalism and Christian fundamentalism is not nearly so wide as we might wish to believe.

That’s all the quotes.

12 quotes in the collection · come back when we add more