"Takes two to congress." — J. P. Donleavy

"What are you going to do in London?"

"Rest from the eyes. Ever notice the eyes along the street. Ever notice them? Looking for something. And in this fine cultured city it's me."

"I'm suspicious about people interested in saving other people's souls."

"Mr Dangerfield, why don't you believe in hell and things like that?"

"Hell is for poor people."