Howard Jacobson

In the highly improbable event of his being asked to nominate the one most un-Jewish thing he could think of, Sefton Goldberg would have been hard pressed to decide between Nature – that's to say birds, trees, flowers, and country walks – and football – that's to say beer, bikies, mud, and physical pain.

In the matrimonial life of the Jewish male every day is Yom Kippur.

He was as sentimental as Hitler about applause and crowds.