Oh to be young and in love (with 8 Chinese concubines). — Christopher G. Moore

This book you've read is just a story. I made it up. It is not designed to change anyone's beliefs or worldview, unless after reading it you've decided to be kinder to your fellow humans (which is okay), or you decide you really would like to teach yoga to an elephant, in which case, please get videotape.

You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't. Trust me, I was there. I know.

When the oil of the lamp is used up the wanker shall light his own way to salvation.