Quotes about men

Helping men express feelings starts with understanding why men don’t express them.

The belief that men don’t need help is part of the problem.

Becoming a human doing was exactly what society needed. But for an individual man, becoming a human doing was his undoing.

In order to connect and nurture, it is not just helpful to be in touch with feelings, it is necessary. So men’s first job – their next evolutionary strategy – involves being in touch with their feelings.

Both sexes had an unconscious investment in keeping men from expressing feelings of fear and vulnerability.

In the past, socializing men to become the best killer-protectors led to the survival of the “fittest.” In the future, with nuclear technology, training killers is more likely to lead to the destruction of everyone.

Societies in which men were unwilling to dispose of themselves in war were societies that usually got disposed of. Societies that were protected were protected by killers, which is why I call the traditional role of men the role of killer-protector.

Men’s pay paid women to love and nurture, to connect and feel. To be nurturer-connectors. In contrast, men received their pay by being some form of killer-protector. By becoming a human doing (a captain or a coal miner), not a human being (a person who feels happy or sad).

The nature of men’s responsibilities distanced men from feelings, whereas the nature of women’s responsibilities encouraged the expression of feelings.

If we have integrity about our desire to support men to express feelings, every institution and attitude between the sexes will require questioning and adjusting.

A man fears that conflict with his wife will lead to less intimacy, not more intimacy.

A man becomes successful by repressing his feelings, not expressing his feelings.