Quotes about humor

Engineers are dangerous because they’re obsessed by facts and you can’t divert them or buy them off.

If you tried really hard, you could take that as a compliment.

Forrest Singer, it always seemed to Saul, spoke as though the two of them were equals. Saul possibly held the slightly inferior position in the doctor’s eyes. Saul was the President of the United States, true; but Forrest Singer was an M.D.

The lead prosecutor told the jury at my trial that I was “A sick parasite, preying on society.”

Parasite on society; this, mind you, from a lawyer.

“Could it wipe out life on Earth?”

“Oh, I very much doubt that. Single-celled and oceanic forms will presumably survive. But it might make life impossible for humans.”

“Actually, that tends to be my primary concern. Sponges and oysters will have to take care of themselves.”

When you have died once, you become most reluctant to do so again.

The game never ended. If Sol were guaranteed to go nova tomorrow, today she would hear from lobbyists for sunscreen.

Sometimes I think about dying. And then I wonder about going to hell. And then I think that if and when I go there, the place will be completely organized and run by lost souls, with a council and a works committee and an ethics panel, and I’ll feel right at home.

It was the classic question; you had two tasks to perform and one promised to be much harder and more unpleasant than the other. Did you tackle the tough one first and get it out of the way? Or did you postpone, and hope that before you came to the hard part you might be struck by a meteorite, or that a solar flare would wipe out life in the solar system?

When a person was so consistently wrong, it was time to give up having opinions.

Korin stared. It must be a novelty, finding someone more paranoid than he was.

He had written the man off completely, and now here came common sense and a talent for improvisation. Maybe you didn’t have to be an idiot just because you were rich.