Quotes about humor

I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at all. ... They are much more entertaining than half the novels that are written.

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humour teaches tolerance, and the humorist, with a smile and perhaps a sigh, is more likely to shrug his shoulders than to condemn.

He made one laugh sometimes by speaking the truth, but this is a form of humour which gains its force only by its unusualness; it would cease to amuse if it were commonly practised.

Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

Impropriety is the soul of wit.

I am a little shy of any assumption of moral indignation. There is always in it an element of self-satisfaction which makes it awkward to anyone who has a sense of humour.

I forget who it was that recommended men for their soul's good to do each day two things they disliked: it was a wise man, and it is a precept that I have followed scrupulously; for every day I have got up and I have gone to bed.

It's no use crying over spilt milk, because all of the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it.

An earthquake is such fun when it is over.

They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure.

All right. Have it your own way. Road to hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs. Not my fault.

Red Dog smiled. 'I would like you to meet my friends Mr Sitting Bull, Mr Poisoned Buffalo, and Chief Running Skunk-Backwards.'

'Sitting Bull's a name I know,' Yogi remarked, shaking hands.

'Oh, I'm not one of those Sitting Bulls,' Mr Sitting Bull said.