Quotes
“How is the faith-unification business?”
“We’ve nearly got everyone,” said Joffy with a smile. “The atheists came on board last week. Once we had suggested that ‘god’ could be a set of essentially beneficent physical rules of the cosmos, they were only too happy to join. In fact, apart from a few scattered remnants of faith leaders who can’t quite come to terms with the loss of their power, influence and associated funny hats, it’s all looking pretty good.”
p. 128
“You’re crazy!”
“Undoubtedly. But look around you. You followed me in here. Who’s crazier? The crazy or the crazy who follows him?”
p. 262
Don’t ever call me mad, Mycroft. I’m not mad. I’m just...well, differently moraled, that’s all.
p. 157
Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.
p. 93
“It was a coincidence.”
“I don’t believe in coincidences.”
“Neither do I. That’s a coincidence, isn’t it?”
p. 82
“Do you know what the worst bit about dying is?”
“Tell me, Gran.”
“You never get to see how it all turns out.”
p. 136
“We’re fine, Joff. You?”
“Not that good, Thurs. The Church of the Global Standard Deity has undergone a split.”
“No!” I said with his much surprise and concern in my voice as I could muster.
“I’m afraid so. The new Global Standard Clockwise Deity have broken away due to unresolvable differences over the direction in which the collection plate is passed round.”
“Another split? That’s the third this week!”
“Fourth,” replied Joffy dourly, “and it’s only Tuesday. The Standardized pro-Baptist conjoined Methodarian-Lutherian sisters of something-or-other split into two subgroups yesterday. Soon,” he added grimly, “there won’t be enough ministers to man the splits.”
p. 81
You’ve got a face longer than a Dickens novel.
p. 371
“It’s easy. A lobotomized monkey could do it.”
“And where are we going to find a lobotomized monkey at this time of night?”
p. 275
Britannia, that unfortunate female, is always before me, like a trussed fowl: skewered through and through with office-pens, and bound hand and foot with red tape.
Accidents will occur in the best regulated families; and in families not regulated by that pervading influence which sanctifies while it enhances the—a—I would say, in short, by the influence of Woman, in the lofty character of Wife, they may be expected with confidence, and must be borne with philosophy.
He is quite a good fellow - nobody's enemy but his own.
