“I’d offer you a drink,” he said, “but all I have is the good stuff.” — Tim Powers

I owe a fortune in student loans, and after I got my degree in education and tried to apply it, I caught on that the emperor had no clothes—

“Did he say who he was?” asked Scott.

“I asked him,” said Ariel. “He sort of laughed and said he was between names.”

“Doesn’t she read chicken entrails?”

“Oh! No, astrology.”

“Same sort of thing.”