Terry Pratchett

Nanny Ogg quite liked cooking, provided there were other people around to do things like chop up the vegetables and wash the dishes afterwards. (pp. 203-204)

Magic's far too important to be used for rulin' people. (p. 316)

The footman, recognizing instantly the boundless bad manners of the well-bred, backed away quickly. (p. 262)

She hated everything that predestined people, that fooled them, that made them slightly less than human. (p. 291)

"I ain't against adventure, in moderation," said Granny, "but not when I'm eatin'." (p. 247)

Asking someone to repeat a phrase you'd not only heard very clearly but were also exceedingly angry about was around Defcon II in the lexicon of squabble. (p. 162)

"Haven't you got any romance in your soul?" said Magrat plaintively.

"Baths is unhygienic," Granny declared. "You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that." (p. 184)

He'd never told people they ought to be happy, and imposed a kind of happiness on them. The invisible people knew that happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in. (p. 293)

This one was quite likely looting towns when he should have been learning to read. (p. 267)

Emberella, thought Magrat. I'm fairy godmothering a girl who sounds like something you put up in the rain. (p. 213)

Greebo's technique was unscientific and wouldn't have stood a chance against any decent swordsmanship, but on his side was the fact that it is almost impossible to develop decent swordsmanship when you seem to have run into a food mixer that is biting your ear off. (p. 312)