Terry Pratchett

Just because fate throws you together doesn't mean fate's got it right. (p. 312)

Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken. (p. 4)

What he wanted, he decided, was a priest. They had to be useful for something, and this seemed the sort of time one might need one. For solace, or possibly, he felt obscurely, to beat their head in with a rock. (p. 303)

Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.

The Sphinx is an unreal creature. It exists solely because it has been imagined. (p. 264)

The entire priesthood was sitting around it and watching it carefully, in case it did anything amusing or religious. (p. 80)

The noise stopped, filling the air with the dark metallic clang of sudden silence. (p. 301)

‘I thought you were stuffed,' said Rincewind.

"Therefore I will have dinner sent in," said the priest. "It will be roast chicken."

Those first pyramids had been built by human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium, who had cut rocks into pieces and then painfully put them back together again in a better shape. (p. 96)

Look into the face of a man who will kill you for a belief and your nostrils will snuff up the scent of abomination. Hear a speech declaring a holy war and, I assure you, your ears should catch the clink of evil's scales and the dragging of its monstrous tail over the purity of the language. No, we do it for the money. And because we above all must know the value of a human life, we do it for a great deal of money. There can be few cleaner motives, shorn of all pretense.(p. 46)

His mother, as far as he could remember, had been a pleasant woman and as self-centred as a gyroscope. (p. 29)