# Quote — Ted Chiang, Exhalation

> “Forgive and forget” goes the expression, and for our idealized magnanimous selves, that was all you needed. But for our actual selves the relationship between those two actions isn’t so straightforward. In most cases we have to forget a little bit before we can forgive; when we no longer experienced the pain as fresh, the insult is easier to forgive, which in turn makes it less memorable, and so on. It’s this psychological feedback loop that makes initially infuriating offenses seem pardonable in the mirror of hindsight.

- Author: [Ted Chiang](https://www.leafyquotes.com/ted-chiang.md)
- Book: [Exhalation](https://www.leafyquotes.com/ted-chiang/exhalation.md)
- Page: 198
- Source: [Wikiquote](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ted_Chiang#Exhalation:_Stories_(2019)) ([CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/))
- Quote page: https://www.leafyquotes.com/ted-chiang/exhalation/forgive-and-forget

## More from this book

> Humans have lived alongside parrots for thousands of years, and only recently have they considered the possibility that we might be intelligent.
>
> I suppose I can’t blame them. We parrots used to think humans weren’t very bright. It’s hard to make sense of behavior that’s so different from your own.

p. 233 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/ted-chiang/exhalation/humans-have-lived.md)

> Let me always be inquisitive, but never be suspicious.

p. 249 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/ted-chiang/exhalation/let-me-always.md)

> When the public interest is involved, finding out what actually happened is important; justice is an essential part of the social contract, and you can’t have justice until you know the truth.

p. 190 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/ted-chiang/exhalation/when-the-public.md)