# Quote — Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or

> You see, there is an Either/Or here. … if you want to go on amusing your soul with the trifling of wittiness and the vainglory of the intellect, then do so. Leave your home, emigrate, go to Paris, devote yourself to journalism, court the smiles of languid women, cool their hot blood with the chill of your wit, let it be your life’s proud task to dispel an idle woman’s boredom or the gloomy thoughts of a burned out sensualist; forget that you were a child, that there was piety in your soul and innocence in your thoughts; muffle every lofty voice in your heart, loaf your life away in the glittering wretchedness of social gatherings; forget that there is an immortal spirit within you, torture the last farthing out of you soul; … But if you cannot do that, if you do not want to do that-and that you neither can not will-then pull yourself together, stifle every rebellious thought that would have the audacity to commit high treason against your better nature, disdain all that paltriness that would envy your intellectual gifts and desire them for itself in order to put them to even worse use; disdain the hypocritical virtue that is unwilling to carry the burdens of life and yet wants to be eulogized for carrying it; but do not therefore distain life, respect every decent effort, every modest activity that humbly conceals itself, and above all have a little more respect for women…. if you cannot control yourself, you will scarcely find anyone else who is able to do it.

- Author: [Søren Kierkegaard](https://www.leafyquotes.com/soren-kierkegaard.md)
- Book: [Either/Or](https://www.leafyquotes.com/soren-kierkegaard/eitheror.md)
- Page: 206
- Source: [Wikiquote](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Either/Or#Balance_between_Aesthetic_and_Ethical) ([CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/))
- Quote page: https://www.leafyquotes.com/soren-kierkegaard/eitheror/you-see-there

## More from this book

> As the Pastor puts it, "Therefore, wishing to be in the wrong is an expression of an infinite relationship, and wanting to be in the right, or finding it painful to be in the wrong, is an expression of a finite relationship! Hence, it is upbuilding always to be in the wrong-because only the infinite builds up; the finite does not!"

p. 243 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/soren-kierkegaard/eitheror/as-the-pastor.md)

> Father in heaven! Teach us to pray rightly so that our hearts may open up to you in prayer and supplication and hide no furtive desire that we know is not acceptable to you, nor any secret fear that you will deny us anything that will truly be for our good, so that the labouring thoughts, the restless mind, the fearful heart may find rest in and through that alone in which and through which it can be found-by always joyfully thanking you as we gladly confess that in relation to you we are always in the wrong. Amen.

p. 341 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/soren-kierkegaard/eitheror/father-in-heaven.md)

> Anyone who refuses to struggle with actualities acquires phantoms to struggle against.

p. 223 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/soren-kierkegaard/eitheror/anyone-who-refuses.md)