Sarah Dessen

It's funny how someone's perception of you can be formed without you even knowing it.

And she was good to me: strong, fun, and fiercely loyal. And if I didn't have many other friends because of her-most girls were intimidated by her looks, or thought she was too pushy, or just flat-out feared for their boyfriends-it never bothered me. I never missed having a wide, thick circle of girlfriends: Rina was more than enough. We were comfortable with each other's flaws and weaknesses, so we stuck together and kept to ourselves.

She was just a shell of her former self, functioning and talking but hardly alive.

In the open sea, he said. Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints.

Behind the camera, I was invisible. When I lifted it up to my eye it was like I crawled into the lens, losing myself there. and everything else fell away.

There were moments - when Jeopardy came on, in the car during radio trivia challenges, or for practically any question I couldn't answer in any subject - that Rogerson simply amazed me. I started to seek out facts, just to stump him, but it never worked. He was that sharp.

I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell anyone. As long as I didn't say it aloud, it wasn't real.

After everything that happened, how could I miss him? But I did, I did.

Rogerson, I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, where would I find the pelagic zone?

Man," he said. "You are, like, so impatient."

See you in dreamland.

I took his wildness from him and tried to fold it into myself, filling up the empty spaces all those second place finishes left behind.